The Day Centre

Wednesday 19th December 2012

Today is exactly one year since Mum's doctor told her he suspected she had bowel cancer and referred her for further investigation.  This time last year Oli and I didn't have a clue!

Oli, Dylan and I went to Reading today.  I wanted to spend the day with Mum at the Day Centre as the doctor was due to see Mum today.  It will be the first doctor's appointment I have been able to attend since we found out about the spread to the brain.  We met both Mum and Dad at the Day Centre and brought Dylan in to say hello.  He was more interested in the big tin of Quality Street on the table than talking to Mum, but she just loved watching him playing with the sweets.  Luckily they were all wrapped up.  Oli then took Dylan Christmas shopping and I stayed with Mum and Dad to wait for the doctor.

Dr. Talbot called us in after about half an hour and she talked generally about Mum's medication and tried to find out if she needs anything topped up to see her through the Christmas period.  She also talked about upping the medication for Mum's hands and feet to try and bring her some relief there, as so far there has been no change.  She didn't mention the brain tumour at all.  I know there was talk in the previous meeting about the possibility of the brain tumour being stable, but I don't understand how this can be as she didn't have it when she finished chemotherapy - it has developed since, which means the cancer must have been active post chemo and she hasn't received any further treatment to make it stable again.  I didn't ask these questions though because I didn't want to bring it up unnecessarily and risk upsetting Mum.

Towards the end of the meeting Mum asked Dr. Talbot if she would examine her tummy as she has been experiencing more pain there.  As soon as she lay down on the couch and lifted her top I could instantly see that her stomach was very swollen.  This really upset me as I knew before anything was said what this really means.  Dr. Talbot said that her liver was greatly enlarged since her last examination 5 weeks ago.  She described what she felt 5 weeks ago as being the size of a grapefruit and what she could feel today was now the size of a small melon and confirmed that the change in size would have been caused by cancer growth.  I really wanted to ask questions about life expectancy now that we know it's in her brain and growing in her liver, but I couldn't bring myself to speak.  Mum held herself together very well given that we've been effectively told yet more bad news today.

Dad left soon after the meeting and I stayed with Mum for the remainder of the day at the Day Centre.  It was really lovely to see her interacting and being so friendly, loving and caring towards the other people there.  She seems to have made friends in the few short weeks she has been going and she knows all the staff by name from her stay in the hospice.  She walked around the room hugging and kissing her friends and chatting lots to different people.  We all had lunch together around a big table and I got to know some of the other ladies who told me about their illnesses and how coming to the Day Centre has been a real help to them.  I can already see the difference it is making to Mum's life.  She has gone from being adamant that she will never set foot inside a hospice, to saying she never wants to go back to the Royal Berks and the hospice is the only place she wants to be. 

Mum had further blood tests before we left, which was a struggle as her veins are so weak these days and it took ages to get blood.  If Dr. Talbot's suspicion is correct, then it is likely the bloods will show something this time round, but we won't know the results until Mum goes back to the Day Centre after Christmas.  We also await the 6 month CT scan on New Year's Eve and the results in the New Year.